Self Portrait at 30.

So, November 26th of this year, I turn 30. I have yet to decide exactly how I feel about that. On one hand, I am glad. I feel accomplished at 30, having gotten the big things like marriage, college, and babies out of the way. On the other hand, there are parts I seem to have forgotten to do and now feel "too old". I was going to study in Italy, be a trapeeze artist, and have a bridal boutique. When I think about getting older, I freak, since my idea of retirement has been taking the job of a St. Thomas cab driver and sleeping on the beach. Already I have developed enough ailments to know that is probably not the best plan! And if my knees get stiff now, geez, what will 40, 50, 60 and beyond be like?! And my kids-If I get older, then they do to, and eventually my status as supreme being with the final say might be compromised as teenage years enter our household. And then they will move out and be free thinking adults who will, eventually, turn 30 themselves, leaving me, well...really, really old!

And how do you celebrate a milestone at this point? Up until now, it dictated itself: 16, get license, 18, register to vote and hit the over 18 scene, 21, buy a drink. 30, buy mom jeans? I just don't know. Many friends around me have made this the surprise party year-generally thrown by the younger in the married couple. Since Old Man Dan took the plunge at 30 a few months back, I guess I am safe there. A simple arrangement of 30 diamonds might be nice..

The kicker about turning 30 is no one asked me. It was going to happen whether I chose it to or not. God's plan has been pretty cool so far, so I okay with moving forward and checking out what lays ahead. I will take solace in knowing that with time passing also comes the time when my children sleep all night and go to school all day. Maybe then I will get on to the business of the flying trapeeze.